a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
