I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
