You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
