The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
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You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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