Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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