quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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