We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
