have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
