I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..