Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.