I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
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Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
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Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.