yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
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When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
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I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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