we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
