I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
