Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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