Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
