he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
me + whiskey = a bad person
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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