I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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