My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
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Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
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Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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