singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
