OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
