His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I am naked and annoyed.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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