Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
