I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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