Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
