Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
it hurts more in the daytime
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
