What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
