She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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