My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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