Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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