He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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