I am in a vortex of obligation.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
