Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
