East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
