Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
