So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
