he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
im holly from the hills drunk
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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