She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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