i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
