Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
