And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
