We won't sleep together?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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