Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
