you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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