yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
