New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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