I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
