So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
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Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
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I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i now understand why vodka
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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