Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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