clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize