Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
