we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
