It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
