'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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