it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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