Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
