So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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