I got chris browned last night
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
