I could have mohawked her pubes.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Congratulations! We have a period
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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