Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
where am i from again
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Can I color on your dick again?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
