haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
