This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
