he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
