I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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