dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
