Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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