break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
