Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
