Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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