Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
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I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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