its not stalking. its research.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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