i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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