oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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